And here are the lyrics to Ray Jessel's "I'm a genius": (go here to listen to the performance, and yes, he does look like Einstein)
I’M A GENIUS
Words & Music by Ray Jessel
I’M THE GREATEST IN THE FIELD OF PHYSICS — THEORETICAL.
MY NAME IS ALBERT EINSTEIN
BUT YOU CAN CALL ME AL.
I’VE HEARD SOME PEOPLE NATTER
THERE’S OTHERS JUST AS SMART AS ME.
LIKE ALL THINGS IT’S A MATTER
OF RELATIVITY!
A BRIGHTER BRAIN THAN MINE?
THAT’S A NON-STARTER.
A FEW, PERHAPS, ARE CUTER
BUT NONE SMARTER!
PROOF, YOU INSIST!
OKAY, LET’S PLAY A SMALL GAME.
LET’S MAKE A LIST
OF WHO’S EVEN IN THE BALL-GAME.:
SHAKESPEARE WAS GOOD,
MOZART WAS GOOD,
BUT ME, i’M A GENIUS!
VAN GOGH WASN’T BAD,
THOREAU RATES A TAD,
BUT ME, i’M A GENIUS!
THERE’S MACCHIAVELLI,
THERE’S KEATS AND THERE’S SHELLEY,
AND MADAME CURIE
AND THE REST,
BUT, LIKE BACH AND LIKE HANDEL,
THEY CAN’T HOLD A CANDLE
TO ME.
I’M THE BEST!
BEN FRANKLIN WAS FAIR
AMD SO WAS FLAUBERT
AND VOLTAIRE WASN’T TERRIBLE.
RIMBAUD SURE COULD RHYME,
ROUSSEAU WAS SUMLIME –
BUT I’M
INCOMPARABLE!
THERE’S HAYDN AND DRYDEN,
CERVANTES, THE BRONTES,
BUT CALL THEM THE BRAINEST? BAH!
THEY’RE ALL SMART, THEY’RE ALL BRIGHT,
THEY’RE OKAY, THEY’RE ALL RIGHT,
BUT THERE’S ONLY ONE GENIUS — MOI !
TWO CHEERS FOR REMBRANDT AND IMMANUEL KANT
BUT ME, I’M A GENIUS!
ALEXANDER THE GREAT
NEXT TO ME IS THIRD RATE,
JUST LIKE PAGANINI IS !
THERE’S IGOR STRAVINSKY, NIJINSKY AND MINSKY -
AND HOMER , OF COURSE, GETS A NOD.
THERE’S NEWTON AND NIETZSCHE
AND PAVLOV WAS PEACHY,
BUT ME — i’M A GOD!
MONET, RABELAIS,
THROW IN ESCOFFIER –
(HIS SOUFFLE WAS QUITE EDIBLE)
AND DOCTOR HEIMLICH.
THAT MANOUEVER WAS SLICK –
BUT ICH
BIN INCREDIBLE!
EURIPIDES, THUCYDIDES
DID NOT WRITE STUPIDITIES.
YOU SURE COULDN’T GIVE THEM A “CEE”
THEY’RE NOT DIM, THEY’RE NOT DUMB,
THEY’RE MUCH SMARTER THAN SOME,
BUT GENIUS? FIDDLE-DE-DEE!
SOME SAY PUCCINI IS,
SOME SAY FELLINI IS.
MAYBE THE GUY WHO FIRST PUT MUSTARD
ON A WIENIE IS!
(Spoken)
Now THAT was pretty darn good!
Naaaah!
(Sing)
THERE’S JUST ONE GENIUS — ME!
WHO SAID MC SQUARED EQUALS E ?
THAT’S ME!!
Copyright 1989 by Warner Brothers Music
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